| If there is thing as soul mates you're definatly the closest one to it. |
[07 Aug 2009|11:15am] |
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 flirty |
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music |
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Alien Ant Farm |
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Completely retarded connection.
This wont make sense to most.
if anyone but myself and he.
Thought process
reactions
practically mind reading.
3 months>
thats it.
how odd.
may.
what a strange month for change.
change is always good.
i Enjoy it
Living with my sister is awesome
i love it.
i dont have internet so i go down the street to safeway to use their free wifi!
hmmhmm time to work.,
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| Stoned =/ |
[07 Apr 2009|11:30pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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none |
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Meh.
I'm stoned
and i haven;t had a day off since last wednesday and work everyday until who knows when.
i have to wait til nexts weeks schedule comes out then i will see if maybe just maybe they give me a day off next week, at least one
thats all i need lol
im going to fucking school
every monring.
and then staright to work.
then repeat.
so school
11am to 12pm.
work 1pm to 9:30pm
Homework 10:00-11:00
sleep sometime there after.
and wake up and repeat.
ahh
.
i need an apartment to badly.
it making me insane.
i wish the fucking courts would fucking call me
then!
when i get a day off i can actually go with megan and find a fucking apartment.
Hm,.
i think ill go look at my old vampire freaks.
i just fucking remembered vampire freaks.
klol
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| today is gonna be the day |
[09 Mar 2009|10:10pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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love me dead |
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Me and megan looked at apartments today
well
actually one
.Crowne Pointe and
it's nice there the ladies are nice and the aprtment we looked at was nice
and it fucking awsome
i cant fucking waittttttttttt!
hahahah!
im so excited and i just can't hide it.
meowzza
oh my.
yeah
it will be fucking seet i can't wait.
=]
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| i can't fucking wait. |
[08 Mar 2009|11:29pm] |
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mood |
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 high |
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music |
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Fat Sweaty Betty. |
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I cannnot wait to get an apartment.
it will be fucking seet.
my nose is running
snot snot snot.
fuck fuck fuck
i am at my parents.
and it is very fucking gay
i want to smoke a bowl and have no lighter
haha in the middle of this my sister called cuz i told her she needed to get home so
we could
A) Smoke
B) i Don;t have a lighter to smoke by myself
and she called and told me where her spare lightro is
haha sweet. i will smoke and get back to this.
=]
BRB......
well actually.
ill smoke and type
it will just take longer.
oh well it's not like im timed right?
i was looking at old pictures i found of myself.
it was sweet.
ill upload some to myspace
just because i want to.
i was such a peaceful no brained soul.
i was so fried all the time back then
it's sweeet.
I miss..
high school
and doing whatever i wanted.
now it always so serious.
and work.
and more fucking school
and bills
and everything.
definitely more freedom
but definitely more held back i guess.
nowadays it's weird ya know?
idk.
i had tons of people i talked to then
like everyday i would talk to a different person
instead it's like my life's on repeat
except those occasional times i do something different
when i get my apartment i vow to life more carefree
but serious when i need to.
so like when im not in school or at work.
i'll do whatever the fuck i want.
haha.
i do what i want now.
but im held back on account to i live with coles fucking parents/ =[
im going to stop pressing enter so many time . it's starting to idk i just don't want to haha
but anyway yeah when im not staying at cole's moms im staying at my moms
and that fucking sucks
i've been so ready for a long time to just be the fuck on my own. i am soo responsible enough to do that and move on. but idk at first being at coles moms was cool cuz i felt as if i had more freedom but then when we moved into the new house and ken moved in too it became weird. yvonne is still gone a lot but ken has definitely changed things. for everyone and everyone knows it i guess im the only one whos really got a problem. he's there 24 fucking 7 cuz he works out of the house but is basically unemployed.
I guess it's like before there was like no rules and now that ken is around there is all these unspoken rules... i guess yeah..
cuz he's way more reserved than yvonne and when he wasnt here all the time we had way more fun we always would be able to go and talk to her now she's always talking with ken about important stuff and jen wants her to do this and she's busy helping ken with this and if not that shes at work all day and goes to the gym after that and doesnt get home till like 8 everynight.
and we are all used to that. but now that kens arounda nyway it's just like overwhelming.
but it might be a good thing for them it keeps their house more in order. and things are fixed and dealt with i just think he's a jerk sometimes about it and everything is way more uptight and i don't want that i guess
i guess i feel as if he is stepping into cole's and my life too far.
always wanting to know where we are going yvonne never cared she always trusted us but he always makes her ask us and makes her tell her when we get home and works her up more than she should or she's just trying to act like a better mother. even though thats not the case but i think ken thinks she way to easy going and lenient? and she wants to look more idk whatever.
but yeah
idk denise should be home soon. to smoke me out =]
and im already smoked out.
it will be sweet. =]
see ya next time.
this was hella long now that im thinking about it.
I guess i need a friend to chat this up about with so next time my rants aren't that long/
eh. i've never really had that since shawna though. so anyway. peace to the out.
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| the shit hole |
[17 Jul 2007|01:58pm] |
hey hye
bah im at coles house.
he just showered becuase he was stinky and gross as fuck
and.
i just took a UA for my PO
and yeah man.
idk
idk if it will be clean or not.
ben you fucking prick
you never talk to me anymore
you ditched me.
youve replaced me.
and it sucks.
it really makes me sad that you could do that to me.
i miss you
and.
whatever its all good im not stressing uit
it just hurts you know.
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| Latleyyyyy |
[25 Jun 2007|11:38pm] |
|
ofr realzzzzz.
man.
cole.
pfft.
where do i start with that guy.
i mean.
help me out ehre.
he never listens.
he doesnt undersatnd.
but
he so sweet.
but he fucking.
likes to start with me.
and argue with me.
then blame me.
and
it hurts.
and. ihate it.
even though we are on a break he still fights with me.
what a fuckig bitch i swear.
comeon
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| oh yes |
[03 Apr 2007|03:35pm] |
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mood |
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 sore |
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music |
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Jack johnson. better together. |
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Im dating the most wonderful boy ever.
<3
his name would be Cole.
yessssssss.
mmhhhmm.
hes very great,
his family is great.
and my family loves him
and his family loves me.
his little sister is great.
shes veryyyy cuute.
hahah.
uhm
yes
<456596
boooo.
thats all ihave to say.
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| my lame fucking ranting i swear |
[03 Mar 2007|10:08pm] |
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mood |
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accomplished |
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music |
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realworld. |
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I just realized at this EXACT FUCKING MOMENT.
liek i just fucking realized this guys .
I rant.
all the fucking time about the lamest shit fucking ever.
and you know who else used to do that?
matt did.
he made me adapt to his ranting to the point where i do it???!!!!?
like wtf mate.
bahhhh.
like so im ranting now.
how fucking lame.
but you know what.
i want to so i will.
now i know why he does it.
haha.
he needs to get some stuff off his chest.
stuff hes been thinking about.
and you know what ive been thinking goddamnit.
i miss matt verrrrrry much so.
it kills me.
it reallly does.
im not like physically depressed.
im just really bummed because i was super happy in that relationship.
and i hope one day.
someday.
we could try it again.
because thats what he said.
and im hoping he keeps up with it.
Rawley made me realize that i should move on.
and then i couldnt help but to see that i cant.
but i will.
but itll be hard as fuck.
but ill do it.
because i konw i can,.
i have a new boy haircut.
and Rawley made me feel better about it.
omg.
i cant typeeeee.
i reallly too fucking stoned right now niggaaahhs.
haha.
<3ily
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| oh hey |
[19 Feb 2007|01:49pm] |
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mood |
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 cranky |
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music |
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Kelly Clarkson. ha |
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yeah geoff you stupid bastard.
i cant fukcing believe what you did.
I want to kill you.
you disprespected me lied to me betrayed me in every way you could have.
RULE NUMBER ONE IN MY HOUSE IS NEVER COME OVER DRUNK AND GET INTO A FUCKING BRAWL WITH SOMEONE YOU DONT EVEN KNOW.
faggot.
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| gahklsd |
[05 Feb 2007|01:28pm] |
Im freaking out.
someone help me
I think im having a panic attack
maybe.
maybe not
im not sure.
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| TODAY |
[05 Feb 2007|09:55am] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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MSI. |
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my mom comes home.
in like hours she will be here.
OMG,
im kinda scared.
not scared.
nervous.
HAHAH.
omg.
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| So last night was FUCKED. |
[04 Feb 2007|02:39pm] |
So me, megan, and denise.
parked out at the river to smoke a bowl.
and a car pulls up
and guess who the fuck it was.
a mother fucking cop.
so we got busted.
yeahh
iit was SO FUCKING lame.
but my dad was pissed ofr about a second.
the hewas like well thats your fuckup.
and haha for you.
your gonna get back on probation and you just got off 2 days ago.
My mom gets out of prison tomorrow.
wow.
long time.
its going to be so wierd.
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| So its done .. overwith. |
[01 Feb 2007|09:24pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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music |
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Brooklyn is burning. |
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Yeah he said.
or waitr.
ill go copy and paste the convo.
of him breaking up with me.
OVER MYSPACE>
yeah
wtf is that i mean COME ONNN>
give me some credit.
he already did it once.
now.
AGAIN.
i dont understand that kid.
but seriously
-------------------------
i did try
and if i ever move up there or you down here and wher both single we will try this again lol
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: We're burning in the melting pot;
Date: Feb 1, 2007 8:12 PM
okay.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Matt DOOM!
Date: 01 Feb 2007, 20:10
well
i really like you i do
and i think we could work
but i cant do long distance
i tried i really did try for you
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: We're burning in the melting pot;
Date: Feb 1, 2007 8:08 PM
thats no good.
so what do you think is gonna happen to us?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Matt DOOM!
Date: 01 Feb 2007, 20:05
umm
nothing
really
im kinda
feeling trapped in life
yup
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: We're burning in the melting pot;
Date: Feb 1, 2007 8:04 PM
yeahh son
whatever.
this is lame.
but im fine.
just like ben once said.
Fuck portland.
and everything in portland.
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| Right now. |
[01 Feb 2007|06:48am] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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the hunger. |
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My kitten has officially wanted to die.
becuase if he didnt we woudnt bother me right now.
I havent wrote in a long time.
so i think i will.
Me and Matt arent doing so well.
he left for Arizona on eh.Sunday morning.
and the day before.
he was being really wierd.
and.
he said he is thinking about things.
and doesnt konw what he wants.
and blah.
so that had me worried for sure he would hurt me.
and then he told me.
he doesnt want to mess up our relationship
becuase he knows hell regret it.
and now today after i havent talked to him since sunday night.
he says we need to talk.
and he has being seriously thinking.
and that scares me baddddd.
I think today sucks already.
I think today is a day ill cry.
I need some comfort.
I want Matt here right now.
and now.
I think i might cry.
blahh.
no i wont .
but right now.
sonja isnt doing well.
so cheer me up.
<3
thanks.
And ben.
i havent heard anything out of you.
in a long time.
why are you shutting me out.
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| Yep./ |
[19 Jan 2007|08:17pm] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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music |
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Hole _ Violett. |
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So.
Yeah.,
My dad wants to take me out to this neww placee to eat.
YEAHH>
yep.
MY mom gets out soon.
lets see.
16 days.
yeahh
kinda scaryyy if ya ask me.
Yeah
so im really hungry
so im gonnna go to the store.
get a sobe.
THEN.
Go out to eat.
Matt.
i know you wont read this haha
becuase most likely you cant.
because its set to private.
and.
AND>
most importantly you dont know i have this.
and probably dont have one either.
haha.
But I will call you sometime like around.
10.
maybe.
or like.
930
IDK
really
okay.
BYE.
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| Everything sucks. |
[09 Jan 2007|01:30pm] |
Britany got into a car accident.
Ben's all broken up inside and
I don't know how to help him.
Geoff is in his trouble.
and wtf.
and i cant go see mattt.
this weekend like i planned.
unless my brother decided to take me.
but idk..
I NEED A RIDE TO PORTLAND.
uber bad.
i need to see my matt boo.
im dieinggg.
but.
like.
I neeeeeeeddd.
a car.
or will someone let me borrow thier car?
any takers.
?
eh?
e?
haha
i doubt it i only have like 3 friends on this thing and I DOUBT anybody read what i write anyway.
but not like what i say in here matters.
it does to me.
but to anyone else?
eh/
yeah like i said I doubt it.
I like sara.
shes reallly nice.
but ben.
he is so torn up about it.
i mean what do i do.
am i suppose to hate her
i dont want to.
but i never talk to her anyway.
but.
eh.
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| This is so fucking stupid. |
[01 Jan 2007|10:56am] |
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mood |
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Bummed :[ |
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music |
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None. |
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So I might not go now.
and it's lame
and I'm bummmeed out to the maximujm
BUT I just talked to britany and we might still go
oh how i miss matt.
and MEGAN.
i lov eherrr.
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| MONDAY |
[31 Dec 2006|12:37pm] |
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music |
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DANE COOK hhaaa |
] |
I get to go see MATTT.
oh dear matt.
haha
im exciteddd.
like MEGA>
thanks to the love of my life
my sisters best friend
whos taking me YESSSS
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| No Power. is fucking lame. |
[23 Dec 2006|09:27pm] |
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music |
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Meg and Dia- Indiana |
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Yeah i was soo fucking bored.
we stayed in a hotel room for a wekk
a fucking week more than a week it took them to fix our power.
and it FINALLY fucking came on last night.
my dad put out all the present under the tree.
but he got sneakier.
beacause.
he didnt put name tage on them he put numbers.
but he wont tell us which number is ours.
the numbers 1-3 are placed on the presents.
and i figured my little brother was the number 3 because on of the number threes are a football so i am either one or two.
im pretty sure im 2.
but i still cant be exactly sure.
but anyway
i was soo bored in the hotel
ben came and seen me once we hung out for 20 minutes.
and what not.
it was cool...
i kinda wish we could hang out more.
since.
basically.
he's the best friend.
andd.
stuff.
but.
he works.
and stuff.
i do understand.
but i just hope that the next time he goes to see sara.
he takes me with.
so i can see my dear matt.
thats all i want.
and when i get my license
i will take him with me everytime.
when i go.
seriously.
but aynway
its cool.
i just need to find a way to portland.
for the day
like.
hm.
ill hitchhike.
haha
and hope to not get raped and killed.
idk
ill do something.
anything to go to portland.
seriously.
matt.
hes simply just fucking amazing.
really he is.
and i cant believe im going to say this.
but he is the most amazing boy in the world.
he understands and agrees to every thing i say
we have so much compatiblity.
its in-fucking-sane.
i wouldnt say i loved him
idk.
love hurts
haha
and love is too soon right now. way too soon.
but
if i had the chance i would spend every moment of my life with this boy
i cant tell you enough how amazing he is.
really.
ive never really said that anyone is that fucking amazing ever.
he makes me REALLY REALLLYYY happy.
beyond happy.
its complete and utterly amazing .
i like this boy.
and he likes me.
and we are fit just like that.
thats what we are happy with.
we are in very very much like with each other
and i am very happy i just
want to go see him as soon as i can get to him.
<3
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| this boyyyyyyyy |
[10 Dec 2006|10:46pm] |
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i like him
i like him alot
he makes me giggelyyy.
like a little girl
and thats good.
i havent had a good boy in a while
and BEN IN MY FUCKING HERO
he;s taking me to portland with him
to meet SARA
that fucking cutie pie
and i get to go see the other
cutiee pie matttttttt
yayayayay
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